I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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