piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Four minutes until I can fart!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
