also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Randomize
