We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
