i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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