so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
