Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
