I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
