So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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