if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize