My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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