I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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