Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
