We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
