His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
