apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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