On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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