She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
