Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
