my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
