problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
