My hand turned me down
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
