I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
