I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
