So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
