Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
