And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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