On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
