I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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