Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize