I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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