Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
