is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
