I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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