What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
