I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
her facebook's as public as her vagina
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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