i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
