now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I think a kid would responsible me up
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
