In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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