Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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