found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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