Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
