i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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