the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize