It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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