can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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