Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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