Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
