CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
