I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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