So drunk, too bad you don't want this
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
