Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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