What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize