If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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