i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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