Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
