Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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