butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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