What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
