weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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