why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
