Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
