also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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